Question: How do you know you're God? Answer: Simple. When I pray to him, I find I'm talking to myself.

I'm the most gregarious of men and love good company, but never less alone when alone.

We were in the Arabian Desert for nine months. And I was having the time of my life. It could have been an archeological expedition, a military expedition.

It's such a relief for me to sit in front of a tape recorder and not be using it to learn my lines.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

I have no intention of uttering my last words on the stage. Room service and a couple of depraved young women will do me quite nicely for an exit.

There may be honor among thieves, but there's none in politicians.

The only exercise I take is walking behind the coffins of friends who took exercise.

I will not be an ordinary man, because I have a right to be extraordinary.

I did quite enjoy the days when one went for a beer at one's local in Paris and woke up in Corsica.

George Eliot is my only steady girlfriend. We go to bed together every night.

Sadly, there are writers who wouldn't know an umlaut from an omelet.

...dusk is the time when men whisper of matters about which they remain silent in the full light of the sun.

The Jewish man with parents still alive is a fifteen-year-old boy and will remain a fifteen-year-old boy until they die.

Now if the study of the Scriptures be necessary to our happiness at any time in our life, the sooner we begin to read them, the more we shall be attached to them.

Charlie Sheen is to stand-up what Larry Flynt is to standing up.

They [Democrats and Republicans] agree with each other on either doing nothing or giving lip service to climate change and the really transformative changes that need to happen.

I'm supposed to be a pretty good theater actor.

Geoff Nelder inhabits Science Fiction the way other people inhabit their clothes.

I wanted all of her and resented other boys for wanting any part of her.

We're all seeking order. We're all seeking control.