Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!

Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

The only dependable law of life - everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.

Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.

Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.

Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.

Jews don't camp...The last time the Jews went camping, they spent forty years wandering in the desert.

I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun.

Contentment makes a poor person rich and discontent makes a rich person poor.

Oh, this thing of keeping in constant touch with God, of making him the object of my thought and the companion of my conversations, is the most amazing thing I ever ran across.

When sincerity fails, the offer of money usually works.

I grew up in the theater and danced ballet atrociously.

The threat and use of violence is stimulating nuclear proliferation along with jihadi terrorism.

Education is freedom. Education will teach you how to do it yourself as opposed to asking someone else to do it for you. And around it our own town... Freemanville!

Hoods are good parts because they're always flashy and attract attention. If you've got any ability, you can use that as a stepping stone.

I was in the shopping mall because that's where I go lately. For the last couple of weeks, I've been going there every day, trying to figure out why people go there. It's kind of a personal project.