Quiet! I'm expressing myself!

If I were a man with gills, I would be a fish!

Never interrupt me when I'm eating a banana.

I cant sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. Im shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982.

I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe.

We're expecting a lot of rain in the state of Oregon, so let's just get rid of Oregon.

You know, I've got a confession to make myself. I'm not really a priest, I've just got my shirt on backwards.

Two thongs don't make a right.

What do I do when we're not taping? Sit in a dark room and refine my plans for someday ruling Earth from a blimp. And chess.

I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around.

The sky, the sky beyond the door is bluuuuuuue!

I'm old-fashioned and think that reading books is the most glorious pastime that humankind has yet devised.

Greed is like a dark side of every man, and you could not see it from the appearance of a man, but in the inside the greedy beast already dominating you.

When I see children, I see the face of God. That's why I love them so much. That's what I see.

Watching a woman make Russian pancakes, you might think that she was calling on the spirits or extracting from the batter the philosopher's stone.

Faith gives us living joy and dying rest.

There never has been security. No man has ever known what he would meet around the next corner; if life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.

There's something about being a parent that has, I think, made me a better comedian.

Well, there are some things a man just can't run away from.

Nothing produced can be allowed to maintain a lifespan longer than what can be endured in order to continue cyclical consumption.

I feel like football players are overworked and underpaid compared to any other sports.