R.I.P.Tom Conlon O'Rourke.Not Dead, just Sleeping.

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?

We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

Change will never happen if you lack the ability and courage to see yourself for who you really are.

There is no such thing as a non-subjective world to a subjective mind.

Cult movies are basically movies Hollywood missed the first time - that they should have gotten - and then the fans got it and made it successful.

I don't look at myself as a hero or smart person. I have a seventh-grade education, but I've had a lot of fun.

The price for men in motion is the occasional collision.

What I can't be is monogamous. That tends to upset people. I just don't like domestic life.

When there's a person, there's a problem. When there's no person, there's no problem. Josef Stalin

People see my impressions as a great skill and I am flattered, but there are things I can't do that everyone else can. I can do funny voices and funny faces but I can't drive.

We must fight as a race for everything that makes for a better country and a better world. We are dreaming idiots and trusting fools to do anything less.

I quite love sequins; I think it's the drag queen in me.