RASCALITY, n. Stupidity militant. The activity of a clouded intellect.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

The only shame is the sin.

In any case, the goal is the same: to connect.

The fact that you don’t realize how wonderful you are only makes you more wonderful.

That putt had more breaks than a government job.

All capitalists should be like Warren Buffett, and he says he should be taxed more.

If we're not growing, we must feel guilty, because we are not fulfilling Christ's demand.

I am deeply aware of the dimension of luck. It's so important to be prepared to receive it, but it is a major factor. There's no question.

That's my sweetheart in there. I'm not living her. This is my home now. Your mother is my home.

Meanwhile after failing the bar twice, I knew some people in New York and moved here in August '71.

Difficult as it is really to listen to someone in affliction, it is just as difficult for him to know that compassion is listening to him.