REASON, n. Propensitate of prejudice.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

He dunked his tea bag and watched the results critically. “I really must get a new supplier. This tea is pathetic. America just doesn’t understand tea at all.

When you have an open mind and you're flexible....not married to your beliefs, you can see clearly because you're able to feel and remain neutral at the same time.You're curious.

The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis but rather the feeling of being unwanted.

The woods were made for the hunter of dreams The brooks for the fishes of song.

I learned a long time ago the wisest thing I can do is be on my own side, be an advocate for myself and others like me.

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.

No one of intelligence resents the inevitable.

How can you be alienated without first having been connected?

The World Wide Web is the only thing I know of whose shortened form takes three times longer to say than what it's short for.

We are as often duped by diffidence as by confidence.