REVEILLE, n. A signal to sleeping soldiers to dream of battlefields no more, but get up and have their blue noses counted.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

I wondered how my heart could be both light with happiness and heavy with love at the same time.

My Mum taught me great manners. And she always told me that you can be or do whatever in life, as long as you don't hurt anyone and you're happy. My Mum's great; I adore her.

I was raised Catholic and I have a lot of respect for the good in the Catholic Church. But I don't go to church.

The first five times that you bang someone and the last million times are two different worlds.

the true lady is in theory either a virgin or a lawful wife.

Please note that, at no point in the performance, does my hand leave the end of my arm.

The Soviets sought not a place in the sun, but the sun itself. Their objective was the world. They would not tolerate compromise on goals, only on tactics.

You are only here now; you're only alive in this moment.

Men do, I've found, accept the most errant nonsense from a well dressed woman

Don't allow your animal nature to rule your reason.