REVOLUTION, n. A bursting of the boilers which usually takes place when the safety valve of public discussion is closed.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

No one will ever love me that much again.

Your so bitter, like kitty litter.

Given New York City's cultural diversity, it has always attracted creative people.

New ideas must use old buildings

The test of true competence is the end result.

I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.

Every work of art is the child of its time, often it is the mother of our emotions.

We have forgotten that Vietnam, and Iraq resent being invaded and know the ground better than we do.

I nauseate walking; 'tis a country diversion, I loathe the country.

There's neither honesty, manhood, nor good fellowship in thee.