RICE-WATER, n. A mystic beverage secretly used by our most popular novelists and poets to regulate the imagination and narcotize the conscience.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

And a rock feels no pain

The cross is the place where heaven meets earth and grace erupts. The cross is the place where Jesus does not simply meet our suffering, but becomes our suffering so as to transform the world.

Break the character and independence of your man and you will have an obedient trooper.

You will learn no more once you have decided you know

I've always maintained terrorism passes through Pakistan, it doesn't evolve in Pakistan.

I throw a lot more punches than Floyd [ Mayweather]. He's very efficient with his punches and when he throws he lands a very high percentage but he's not exceptionally busy every round.

What you need is a good Hoovering.

Some men are born committed to action: they do not have a choice, they have been thrown on a path, at the end of that path, an act awaits them, their act.

Sometimes I think I have the best job in the world.

You'll never learn to act in Hollywood. Not in a thousand years.