RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

The job of a writer is not to convey emotion but to invoke it.

The jazz band's chief stimulus, of course, was the rise of the negro 'blues' and their exploitation by the negro song-writer, W. C. Handy.

Perhaps what you call conventionality, I call decency.

When you put yourself on the line in a race and expose yourself to the unknown, you learn things about yourself that are very exciting.

There is some art that says the same thing to everybody. WE need something like that. What that is, I don't know. But virtual reality may be the key to it.

Auctions are bizarre combinations of slave market, trading floor, theatre and burlesque... a lot of people are going to be making a lot of excuses or maintaining that they were never part of this.

Desire for God without doctrine is blind; doctrine without desire is empty.

I am against performance-enhancing drugs. I have never taken them and I never will take them.

Obstacles are our friends: they teach us where we're stuck.

Loving someone who doesn't love you back is like hugging a cactus. The tighter you hold on, the more it's going to hurt.