Racing does to white guys what movies do to black guys.

Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.

Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.

I dated a teacher in high school. Yeah, it didn't make me cooler. And a lot of you are like 'that's cause you were homeschooled'.

Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.

The flat-brimmed cap is the modern day dunce cap.

They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'

Aim for the stars. You will sooner reach the moon.

We in America today are nearer to the final triumph over poverty than ever before.

They wanted her. They all loved her. And they wanted to keep her.

The gaming industry has been male-dominated ever since its inception.

Thinking is only a small aspect of consciousness. Thought cannot exist without consciousness, but consciousness does not need thought

I have learned as a journalist that if you look long enough and hard enough and carefully enough, most truths are discoverable.

Comedy has always been important in my family. If you got in a good joke at the dinner table, it meant more than almost anything else.

Molly was committing dinner by that time, aided and abetted by Sanya, who seemed to take some kind of grim Russian delight in watching train wrecks in progress.

Peace is a virtual, mute, sustained victory of potential powers against probable greeds

There is no fair wind for one who knows not whither he is bound.