Racism is exclusion, that's why I make fun of everybody.

When a black person has no electricity, no water, they call it the ghetto. When white people have no electricity and no water, they call it camping.

I'm glad Hurricane Katrina happened. It taught us an important lesson: black people can't swim.

If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.

Dee Dee Dee dosen't mean mentally retarded. It means stupid. This song goes out to all the stupid people out there. Your gonna find this song hilarious, and you don't even know it's about you.

I'll admit it, the Holocaust was definitely a bad thing, but do we really need Jewish people around? They have big noses. I said it! I said it!

When white people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're homeless, when black people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're called rappers.

Like my father I, too, was born in Central America - Nebraska.

I'll know America is in bad shape when Cubans in Miami get in the water and swim back to Cuba.

We celebrate Labor Day by not going to work?

My brain is very simple. Like when you break everything down. I see things in a simple way. And that simplicity for some reason becomes funny to other people because they don't look at it that way.

I would court you, with all the grace and courtesy that you deserve,

Being different is not a sin, but intolerance is.

Mr. Right' is usually two or eight men.

Just remember when you post something, the computers remember forever.

Indeed, it is as important to learn how to receive a blessing as it is to be willing to give one.

When I listen to songs, I can smell a rat. I like songs that speak to me with some deeper truth.

Again and again, God's Word reveals that He is not as concerned about the depth or extent of the sin we commit as He is about our attitude and response when we are confronted with our sin.

When you focus on what you have, your ABUNDANCE increases. I started with my breath. Noticing being alive is a good start!

I've been to two concerts in the last 10 years.Bob Seger and the Eagles.

Listen to the Chair Leg of Truth! It does not lie!