Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making.

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.

Television is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart.

Don’t only wait until Christmas to love, love at all times.

Kids are real artists. They’d rather paint the outside of the box than being stuck inside.

Animals are such agreeable friends―they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.

Dr. Evil got shortchanged in the first one. The family dynamic between Scott and Dr. Evil - the adventures of being an evil single parent - needed to be explored.

I hate tests. It's a really lousy way to judge a person's ability.

I had not starred in an independent film and it's about a woman who owned a hair salon.

Leave it to you to find beauty in something others would say ruins a day.

I just want to do everything. I don't want to sound soppy or too cliched, but that's the way it is.

If you have zest and enthusiasm you attract zest and enthusiasm. Life does give back in kind.

Society is a more level surface than we imagine. Wise men or absolute fools are hard to be met with, as there are few giants or dwarfs.