Random chance was not a sufficient explanation of the Universe---in fact, random chance was not sufficient to explain random chance; the pot could not hold itself.

If a grasshopper tries to fight a lawnmower, one may admire his courage but not his judgement.

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

You can sway a thousand men by appealing to their prejudices quicker than you can convince one man by logic.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

I never learned from a man who agreed with me.

A generation which ignores history has no past — and no future.

Don't ever become a pessimist... a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events.

May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.

Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.

A lot of my work is a matter of reacting to surprises in life.

The winner is not the player who wins the most pots. The winner is the player who wins the most money.

A playwright has a responsibility in his society not to aid it, or comfort it, but to comment and criticize it.

Sunday is a day given over by Americans to wishing that the themselves were dead and in Heaven, and that their neighbors were dead and in Hell.

Other kids did drugs; I did crafts. I never knew where I fit in.

I don't drink blood, and last time I looked in the mirror, I had a reflection.

I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out if me with steel pipes.

The brief flashbacks are sun-kissed, summery and optimistic. It's the only place in the movie you will see red, yellow, orange, or any vibrant colors.

The 22nd Amendment should probably be modified to say two consecutive terms instead of two terms for a lifetime.