Rappers shouldn't have to file taxes because they itemize everything they own in songs.

It's never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes

No one's dream job involves a kiosk.

Paul Ryan looks like the car rental salesman who bullies you into getting full coverage.

Before taking the stage, Paul Ryan spent 6 hours staring into a mirror working on 'concerned eyebrow.'

My other car is a vehicle with a bumper sticker describing this car.

My life is now a constant assessment of whether what's happening in real life is more entertaining than what's happening on my phone.

Forget the Bible, the greatest argument against human evolution is a YouTube comment thread.

I know cigarettes can kill & wonder why she wants to die.

Those who don't fight evil hate those who do; and those who don't fight real evils make up little evils

The same battle in the clouds will be known to the deaf only as lightning and to the blind only as thunder.

Life is once. Forever.

Swami Ashokananda was a brilliant and accomplished spiritual teacher in the West.

I endured many weeks of it, but I had a big background in martial arts and fighting as a kid, so kind of all the problems got brushed away and I was ready.

My favorite business book of all time is experience.

To find out how much protein you need, take your weight and divide it by three. Rest assured, a whole foods, varied plant-based diet will give you all the protein you need.

My dad's intense love for art and music is what drove me to learn music

The hocus-pocus phantasm of a God, like another Cerberus, with one body and three heads, had its birth and growth in the blood of thousands and thousands of martyrs.