Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.

The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.

This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.

Even at the Gallagher Academy, they don't teach you to break somebody's heart.

A guest sees more in an hour than the host in a year.

For most singers the first half of the career involves extending one's repertoire the second half trimming it.

The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny.

You are safe with me." "I am not at all safe, with you. But I have no desire to be elsewhere.

When you act like a teacher, it's usually because you're afraid to be the student.

Reason teaches us that what is good is good for something, and that what is good for nothing is not good at all.

I dont sit well. I like to move around as I talk.

As it is with an individual, so it is with a nation. One must produce to have, or one will become a have-not.

Non-co-operation and civil disobedience are but different branches of the same tree called satyagraha.