Read comics. All comics. And then cut them open to steal their power.

You're miserable, edgy and tired. You're in the perfect mood for journalism.

Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel's nipples.

If you believe that your thoughts originate inside your brain, do you also believe that television shows are made inside your television set?

I want a tattoo over my heart that reads TRY HARDER YOU LAZY PARAMEDIC SHITBAG OR I WILL HAUNT YOUR BEDROOM FOREVER

That means that the universe is two-dimensional. Matter, energy, time, you, me and the floor are holograms.

The single simplest reason why human space flight is necessary is this, stated as plainly as possible: keeping all your breeding pairs in one place is a retarded way to run a species.

Wolves ate even mighty hunters, for there was no honor or code among predators, and everyone's guts steam the same way when torn open on a cold night.

Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!

What if I left my memory in the future and I have to catch up to it?

Writing is basically a job for people who like punching themselves in the face, I’m pretty sure.

Evil's when you push your agenda over someone else's. When you assert your beliefs over somebody's contrary beliefs. That's evil.

He appreciated you. But he couldn't feed your soul for the rest of your life. Can't you just appreciate that he was great for you for that period of time?

Early college high schools in North Carolina and across the country show us that challenge - not remediation - is an approach to education that works.

I was never born, I didnt die.

How should they answer?

If you expect to have it all, you will have nothing. Learn to be happy with nothing - and you will have it all!

If you do not choose the kingdom of God, it does not matter what you choose instead.

I wrote almost all of it in the deepest hope and conviction. Sifting my thoughts and choosing my words. Trying to say what was true. And I'll tell you frankly, that was wonderful.

Like flowers in a storm, life is full of goodbyes

There is no such thing as 'social gambling.' Either you are there to cut the other bloke's heart out and eat it -- or you're a sucker. If you don't like this choice -- don't gamble.