Reading and sauntering and lounging and dosing, which I call thinking, is my supreme Happiness.

There is no such thing as freedom of choice unless there is freedom to refuse.

Nothing is more surprising than the easiness with which the many are governed by the few.

Beauty in things exists in the mind which contemplates them.

A wise man proportions his belief to the evidence.

When men are most sure and arrogant they are commonly most mistaken, giving views to passion without that proper deliberation which alone can secure them from the grossest absurdities.

The life of man is of no greater importance to the universe than that of an oyster.

Be a philosopher but, amid all your philosophy be still a man.

A propensity to hope and joy is real riches; one to fear and sorrow real poverty.

All knowledge degenerates into probability.

It is an absurdity to believe that the Deity has human passions, and one of the lowest of human passions, a restless appetite for applause

Some people die and you realize that the only mark they left on earth are the tomb stones under which they lie. The impacts you make on earth should be something worthy to improve lives.

Hell of a thing to have to experience, hell of a thing to have to see, to be reminded you're a human being and all it meant to be one.

The splitting of the atom has changed everything except for how we think.

Dress for success. Image is very important. People judge you by the way you look on the outside.

Some's bastards, some's ain't. That's the score.

Numbers are really fascinating things, and they do play a big part in our lives. They are a language of their own.

Oh - You're a very bad man!" Oh, no my dear. I'm a very good man. I'm just a very bad Wizard.

I remember Grace (Coddington) looking at me and said, 'Can you do something?' and I was like, 'OK, how long do you give me?' and she said 'Half an hour?', I said 'Forty-five minutes?'

I was never in the office [of Rolling Stone]. It was very different from Lampoon, where we spent a lot of time together socially, which is to say "drunk."

My sister sometimes does a Todd Barry tribute act.