Reagan's approach will achieve one of the basic goals of the conservative: Things remain basically the same. The rich stay rich and the poor stay poor, or even a little poorer.

It's much harder to be a liberal than a conservative. Why? Because it is easier to give someone the finger than a helping hand.

Show me somebody who is always smiling, always cheerful, always optimistic, and I will show you somebody who hasn't the faintest idea what the heck is really going on.

It's been my policy to view the Internet not as an 'information highway,' but as an electronic asylum filled with babbling loonies.

A Pessimist sees the glass as half empty; A Cub Fan wonders when it's gonna spill.

Newspapers, magazines and other publications have the constitutional right to be offensive, even disgusting. As evidence of that, just watch this space regularly.

The subject of criminal rehabilitation was debated recently in City Hall. It's an appropriate place for this kind of discussion because the city has always employed so many ex-cons and future cons.

Contrary to popular belief. It's much wiser to take money from the poor than the rich.

For some people, being free means being free to keep their feet on someone else's chest.

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers, and cheating on your income tax.

God tipped the country and all the fruits and nuts rolled west.

We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort. Jesse Owens

Work and pray, live on hay, You'll get pie in the sky when you die.-Joe Hill, The Preacher and the Slave

But who will watch my lilies, When their blossoms open white? By day the sun shall be sentry, And the moon and the stars by night!

I am Loved by the King, and it makes my heart want to sing!

Our journey had advanced; Our feet were almost come To that odd fork in Being's road, Eternity by term.

They may not look dangerous, but if angered [bowtruckles] will gouge out human eyes with their fingers, which, as you can see, are very sharp and not at all desirable near the eyeballs.

The first breath of autumn was in the air, a prodigal feeling, a feeling of wanting, taking, and keeping before it is too late.

When I walk through an airport and people go, 'You're not fat!' I'm like, 'Thanks. That's great. Good to know I'm not fat today! Thank you!'

This isn't what I wanted. This isn't what I would have chosen. You must know that. It's important you know that.

You know what make me laugh? Good, clean, honest humor. Not-trying-to-be-funny humor.