Reality shows always look for the worst people.

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.

Learn how to set goals. That's the key to everything. That includes designing your own success. You define what the goal is, it's not somebody else's goal, it's yours.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself.

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.

There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.

You say tomato, I say bourbon and coke.

Things don't make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that's something everyone can do.

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

The professor counsels against retrospective history, assuming that particular pieces contributed to an outcome.

Polite people tend to be more respected, admired, and appreciated than their rude counterparts.

I don't have any problem with government helping entrepreneurs and businesses.

Tell me, O Muse, of that ingenious hero who travelled far and wide after he had sacked the famous town of Troy.

I have a tendency to do the epic kind of long shot and put in everything that you need to know. And that's by design; that's the kind of approach I take to it.

I never wanted to fight against the Union, but could not turn my back on Virginia.

In L.A relationships don't last. You go on a vacation and break up by the time you come home. Thank God for one-hour photo, so you can see your vacation photos while you're still in the relationship.

Disillusions all come from within ... from the failure of some dear and secret hope. The world makes no promises; we only dream it does; and when we wake, we cry!

Players prefer the FA Cup because it's the end of season curtain-raiser.

When you spend seven years with a group of people and suddenly you're not together, it's very jarring.