Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.

I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.

There are three signs of old age: loss of memory ... I forget the other two.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always

Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.

Today's comics use four-letter words as a shortcut to thinking. They're shooting for that big laugh and it becomes a panic thing, using four-letter words to shock people.

My son's 18, 142 pounds and hits it 40 (yards) by me. Instead of to the pin, he's lasering the distance between me and him.

Most of my friends wonder why I get these roles that are so masculine and tough. I think it's my Polish temperament that comes up.

Small Data defines this space, identifies the imbalances we all have and thus the gap these imbalances represents for your new innovation.

It is with artillery that war is made.

The Father did not require the death of Christ to persuade Him to love us. Christ died because the Father loves us.

Women are complicated...not because women are crazy, but because people are crazy, and women happen to be people.

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone. Silence the pianos and with muffled drum Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

My work knocks people out; you've not seen the best of me yet.

The heart must glow before the tongue can gild.