Recognition is one of the three big elements of comedy.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

There's a moment in fighting when strength of muscle ain't everything because enemy has already given you enough energy to gain the victory.

The starting point of all achievement is desire.

People who tend not to report illness are people who are highly competitive and do not want to admit they are not coping.

I have seldom, if ever, seen money and gentleness go hand in hand.

Music is perpetual, and only the hearing is intermittent.

Healing is embracing what is most feared; healing is opening what has been closed, softening what has hardened into obstruction, healing is learning to trust life.

For any alliance to work, the focus must remain on solving specific problems.

Much of spirituality today is an effort to change God to suit us. But he's not going to become more like us, we need to become more like him.

I think that divorce is hard for anyone. It's a nightmare - it just is - and you can pretend you're fine. And [there are] days you're great [and] days you're not great.

Unless virtue guide us our choice must be wrong.