Rees's First Law of Quotations: When in doubt, ascribe all quotations to George Bernard Shaw.

Democracy is too good to share with just anybody.

How come there's only one Monopolies Commission?

I was terribly shy and never said anything in class. Then I started getting into school plays. When you've got words to say, you've got a sort of armour.

Lord Castlerosse was taken to task by Nancy Astor over the size of his stomach. 'What would you say if that was on a woman?' she asked, pointedly. 'Half an hour ago it was,' he replied.

It is part of politics to make things look better than they really are. What is a spin doctor but a serial euphemiser?

Euphemism in the workplace does not end with job descriptions. It reaches a pusillanimous peak at the other end of the work process - in dismissal.

I was broadcast-struck from an early age; I had saved up for a tape recorder and started making programmes.

People will say what they want to say, in the way they want to.

I was absolutely a non-starter at games. My report for rugby said, 'Nigel's chief contribution is his presence on the field.' I used to pray for rain and sometimes it did rain - and we played anyway.

I am only too aware that I am open to Rees's Second Law of Quotation: "However sure you are that you have attributed a quotation correctly, an earlier source will be pointed out to you."

As you see the opening get closer, you just can't get fast enough. And finally, just when you think you'll never get there, you see the opening right in front of you.

Their eyes are precisely similar, and they are those of Catherine Earnshaw.

I hope that while so many people are out smelling the flowers, someone is taking the time to plant some.

I don't need easy, I just need possible.

We need to be grateful for many things that didn't happen.

The walls have ears, better think before you throw that shoe.

Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.

To my mind losing is always better than never trying, because you can never tell what may happen.

To realise our dreams we must decide to wake up.

You were Marlon Brando, I was Steve McQueen, you were K.Y. Jelly, I was Vaseline.