Religious people find God useful. Gospel people find him beautiful.

Legalistic remorse says, "I broke God's rules," while real repentance says, "I broke God's heart."

God sees us as we are, loves us as we are, and accepts us as we are. But by His grace, He does not leave us as we are.

The basic purpose of prayer is not to bend God's will to mine, but to mold my will into His.

Jesus didn't come to tell us the answers to the questions of life, he came to be the answer.

The only person who dares wake up a king at 3:00 AM for a glass of water is a child. We have that kind of access

Everyone says they want community and friendship. But mention accountability or commitment to people, and they run the other way.

God looks at the anxious and says, I tore my Son to shreds for you, and you're afraid I will not give you what you need?

There are some needs only you can see. There are some hands only you can hold. There are some people only you can reach.

If our identity is in our work, rather than Christ, success will go to our heads, and failure will go to our hearts.

In religion, you obey because God is useful. In Christianity, you obey because God is beautiful.

Strangely incurious, her lovers from before. She has worlds within I'm longing to explore.

I don't enter, I'm entered. It's up to someone else. It's up to them.

Maybe if literature was prohibited the same way as cocaine, people out of pure curiosity would try to get a couple of lines

Stop looking for solutions to problems and start looking for the right path.

The people who present themselves as normal and nice and good are often the scariest monsters in the world.

They never discussed it, but both came to understand it as a promise: he would always make sure there was a place for her. She would always be able to say, Someone is coming. I am not alone.

Now if a teacher gives you a practice, he or she would perhaps point out when you don't need it anymore or you realize yourself when you don't need it anymore.

Your future is co-created out of what you do today. Do you act from fear or faith? You get to choose.

Thank you for listening to Comedy Bang Bang! My name is Scott Aukerman and I will see you next week.

I don't have to wait to realize the good old days.