Remarrying a husband you've divorced is like having your appendix put back in.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Before tomorrow becomes your legacy, come the choices you must make today.

Use language what you will, you can never say anything but what you are.

You Don't Have to Go Home from Work Exhausted!

I love it when you ask actors, 'What are you Doing now?' and they say 'I'm between roles'. To be living 'life between roles' that's my favorite

Running Makes you more spiritually aware and in tune with your inner-self.

It's incredibly, incredibly difficult to get a movie made.

GamerGate is about harassing, threatening and silencing women. Started that way, has been that way all along. Dont pretend otherwise.

Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as "Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice"?

One of the ideas behind doing this acoustic record is that I didn't want to have to produce it by committee.

If a woman decides she likes me, it would behoove her to take into consideration that my art has had a strong influence on the type of person I am.