Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

You do not have to sit outside in the dark. If, however, you want to look at the stars, you will find that darkness is necessary. But the stars neither require nor demand it.

If God wanted the sky to be empty, He would not have given birds wings to fly.

It takes a person of great care and insight to watch for any abnormality in the green grass even while it grows abundantly and healthily.

Power is a drug on which the politicians are hooked. They buy it from the voters using the voters' own money.

I came from God, and I'm going back to God, and I won't have any gaps of death in the middle of my life.

There are secrets in all families.

God will show you who to partner with when the time comes.

To rescue our children we will have to let them save us from the power we embody: we will have to trust the very difference that they forever personify.

VAMPIRES I see things you can't see WEREWOLVES I find things that hunt you FAERIES I am your protector SHAPESHIFTERS But even I can't protect you now.

He felt that he was himself and did not wish to be anyone else. He only wished now to be better than he had been formerly