Remember, the Legislature is the joke, not our campaign.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.

People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.

If I were to live a thousand years, I would belong to you for all of them. If we were to live a thousand lives, I would want to make you mine in each one.

Shattered edges of the diamonds rough sets to cut the unsuspecting.

God is neither just nor unjust. ‘No one be hurt in the slightest’

Happiness ... leads none of us by the same route.

Whether you're scared of getting into a relationship or taking the new job or a confrontation - you have to size fear up.

I would sooner walk in the dark, and hold hard to a promise of my God, than trust in the light of the brightest day that ever dawned.

Animists are not so much people with a religion as people with a fundamentally religious way of looking at things.

If one could divine the nature of the economic forces in the world, one could foretell the future.

For every moment of truth, there's confusion in life