Render any politician down and there's enough fat to fry an egg.

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?

We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

We just sat there and watched the plane pass the island, and it never came back, " he said. "I could see it on the radar. It makes you feel terrible. Life was cheap in war.

The perfect journey is never finished, the goal is always just across the next river, round the shoulder of the next mountain. There is always one more track to follow, one more mirage to explore.

And like that, I said goodbye to my grandmother like we were two people who met in a coffee shop, shared a lifetime of stories and left wanting more, but knowing we’d meet there again.

These days, all we hear about is that the industry is in trouble. Everybody is so scared, but our mission statement is having no fear.

Put your faith in God and confidence in yourself.

I think if you would have cut Houdini with a knife, blood wouldn't come out, PR would.

Time is not a movement in space. Space is a movement in time.

The more wit we have, the less satisfied we are with it.

In the bureaucracy, the identity of state interest and particular private aim is established in such a way that the state interest becomes a particular private aim over against other private aims.

A woman today is good, or she is bad, according to the way she does a thing - and not because of the thing itself.