Reporters are faced with the daily choice of painstakingly researching stories or writing whatever people tell them. Both approaches pay the same.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.

You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.

A gentle soul is spiritual.

You are not as great or terrible as you think you are. Neither are they.

There's a good deal of ivory being sold that claims to be antique ivory. In fact, we've seen evidence that there are fake antiques being carved in countries like China.

An unhappy life is a life not lived.

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works, because in its own way, it's quite theatrical.

His designs were strictly honourable, as the phrase is; that is, to rob a lady of her fortune by way of marriage.

Deep within each one of us lies a garden.

I was horrible at everything I ever tried to do and people respect me. The American Dream has come true!!

If there is hell, it was modeled after junior high school.

Efficiency obliterates identity