Republicans go to Sam’s Club, Democrats go to Costco.

I have a meanness inside me, real as an organ. Slit me at my belly and it might slide out, meaty and dark, drop on the floor so you could stomp on it.

Friends see most of each other’s flaws. Spouses see every awful last bit.

Dark sides are important. They should be nurtured like nasty black orchids.

The face you give the world tells the world how to treat you.

Love makes you want to be a better man. But maybe love, real love, also gives you permission to just be the man you are.

My mother had always told her kids: if you're about to do something, and you want to know if it's a bad idea, imagine seeing it printed in the paper for all the world to see.

I was not a lovable child, and I'd grown into a deeply unlovable adult. Draw a picture of my soul, and it'd be a scribble with fangs.

They always call depression the blues, but I would have been happy to waken to a periwinkle outlook. Depression to me is urine yellow, washed out, exhausted miles of weak piss.

Sleep is like a cat: It only comes to you if you ignore it.

Ironic people always dissolve when confronted with earnestness, it's their kryptonite

Of course, being brave does not mean running towards danger.

Starting a new way is never easy so...keep starting until the start sticks.

She swore she'd never turn into her P.I. father...but that was before she ran over the body.

The man with but one idea in his head is sure to exaggerate that to top-heaviness, and thus he loses his equilibrium.

I think it's tough when you're very young and you maybe fall for the celebrity and being the center of attention.

It is in the long run that the corporation lives.

If a Christian is not having tribulation in the world, there's something wrong!

I watch a lot of sports. But when I'm not working, I'm with my daughters every chance I get.

It's dreadful what little things lead people to misunderstand each other.

A novel which persuades us of its truth is true however full of lies it may be