Respectability is the state of never being caught doing anything which gives you pleasure.

Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.

A philosopher is a man who can look at an empty glass with a smile.

A teetotaller is one who suffers from thirst instead of enjoying it.

The only thing that hurts more than paying an income tax is not having to pay an income tax.

Sometimes doing nothing is doing something.

Of two evils, choose the more interesting.

Judge not a man by his clothes, but by his wife's clothes.

Minds, like parachutes, only function when they are open.

We have a great regard for old age when it is bottled.

Life is a one-way street and you're not coming back.

I don't believe in a fate that will fall on us no matter what we do. I do believe in a fate that will fall on us if we do nothing.

Jealousy is bred in doubts. When those doubts change into certainties, then the passion either ceases or turns absolute madness.

It would be better if you began to teach others only after you yourself have learned something.

I am truly miserable - more so than I like to acknowledge to myself. Pride refuses to aid me. It has brought me into the scrape, and will not help me out of it.

"Get Rich or Die Tryin". That's the universal struggle. When I say it it might seem a bit negative but if a working class person says it it means they're determined.

I can't say the advertising model is obsolete yet but it doesn't make a lot of sense in the long range.

Christmas is a time to mark our progress through this earthly journey. Because of Christmas, this we know: Christ was born for us. He is love, and the plans he has for us always surpass our own.

Most blacks are happy, except those who have had other ideas pushed into their ears.

There is no reason for the government to limit political speech.

The secret of life is in art.