Respectability, n. The offspring of a liaison between a bald head and a bank account.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Once you are satisfied with your goal, it is the real happiness.

Great horror movies are earned. 'Halloween' is an earned picture. Every moment of grotesque violence is earned by the suspense they're able to maintain getting there.

I have always noticed in politics how often men are ruined by having too good a memory.

It's better to be the largest independent band from Brazil instead of be the smallest mainstream band.

His heart kep' goin' pity-pat, But hern went pity-Zekle.

I found plain truth very interesting.

Fear is the main factor in Arab politics... There is no Arab who is not harmed by Jews' entry into Palestine.

Red Hook Road made me happy, and happy to be alive. It took me out of my home on the coast of South Carolina, placed me in the town along Red hook Road, and changed me the way good books always do.

Hollywood was born schizophrenic. For 75 years it has been both a town and a state of mind, an industry and an art form.

A man is designed to walk three miles in the rain to phone for help when the car breaks down - and a woman is designed to say, 'you took your time' when he comes back dripping wet.