Rest assured that there is nothing which wounds the heart of a noble man more deeply than the thought his honour is assailed.

It is not only for what we do that we are held responsible, but also for what we do not do.

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit.

Love is a great master. It teaches us to be what we never were.

I assure you, an educated fool is more foolish than an uneducated one.

I want people to be sincere; a man of honor shouldn't speak a single word that doesn't come straight from his heart.

People spend most of their lives worrying about things that never happen.

I hate all men, the ones because they are mean and vicious, and the others for being complaisant with the vicious ones.

Great is the fortune of he who possesses a good bottle, a good book, and a good friend.

Folk whose own behavior is most ridiculous are always to the fore in slandering others.

A husband is a plaster that cures all the ills of girlhood.

...what care I for words? Yet words do wellWhen he that speaks them pleases those that hear.

Americans understand better than the Europeans and the English that any publicity is good.

It is difficult to write about any form of mental disease, especially your own, without sounding as if you were examining a bug under glass.

Men stop trying after a while and get lazy.

I don't put off any time with my grandchildren. I don't put off a thing.

There's a punk rock quality to Peter Parker, that I identified with when I read the comics [Spider-Man], and that I really liked. He has this chip on his shoulder.

Every person needs to take one day away. A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future.

The long experiment with professional politicians and professional government is over, and it failed.

I joined an improv group in college, which was a lot of fun. After I graduated, I moved to Chicago to try to get into the Second City.

We know our friends by their defects rather than by their merits.