Rick Miller hit only one home run last year, and that's like hitting none.

The new Haitian baseball can't weigh more than four ounces or less than five.

Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It's rolling all the way back to second base! This is a terrible thing for the Padres!

Sometimes big trees grow out of acorns - I think I heard that from a squirrel.

Hats off to drug abusers everywhere.

Those amateur umpires are certainly flexing their fangs tonight.

He slides into second with a stand-up double.

And Kansas City is at Chicago tonight, or is it Chicago at Kansas City? Well, no matter as Kansas City leads in the eighth 4 to 4.

Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican?

There is someone warming up in the Giants' bullpen, but he's obscured by his number.

Ozzie Smith just made another play that I've never seen anyone else make before, and I've seen him make it more often than anyone else ever has.

He who searches shall find the deity.

Words have power. The power to soothe. The power to skewer someone through the heart. The power to render someone speechless.

If there's anything more mortifying than being famous at 14, it's being washed up right after.

Film your murders like love scenes, and film your love scenes like murders.

Faith is seeing light with your heart when all your eyes see is darkness.

We cannot wait for great visions from great people, for they are in short supply. It is up to us to light our own small fires in the darkness.

[Neurotics are] torn by inner conflicts ... Every neurotic ... is at war with himself.

I want to collaborate with me 'cause I've done so many collaborations that after a certain point unless you're really working with a certain caliber of an artist, there's no point [to collaborate].

The Russian people get so insanely close to each other as friends. Their lives are interrelated so much on an everyday basis.

Ultimately, I consider people to be more important than computers.