Rick Perry said America's revolutionary war was fought in the 16th century. When told it was actually the 18th century, Perry apologized and said, 'I never said I was a geology major.'

Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'

If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.

A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die.

I have an abacus at home.

A new presidential poll reveals that Democrats have the edge among voters under 30. The good news for Republicans is that there's only six people under 30 who actually vote.

Ukraine announced plans to open Chernobyl, their nuclear disaster site, to tourists. They say it's just like Disneyland, except the 6-foot mouse is real.

Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.

After making insulting remarks about Mexicans, Donald Trump has been kicked off of NBC and Univision. On the bright side, Trump's hair has a new show on Animal Planet.

When you can quiet the fluctuations of your mind and drift into stillness & silence, you can finally hear the whispers of your heart… the whispers of god.

To be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it.

I had wanted to compromise with Fate: to escape occasional great agonies by submitting to a whole life of privation and small pains.

Time can heal and time can help forgive and forget because in time the memories fade. The time will go so slow so fast and love will stay if it's right.

The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who in a period of moral crisis maintain their neutrality.

In each individual the spirit is made flesh, in each one the whole of creation suffers, in each one a Savior is crucified.

I didn't want to lift weights and get all big; I just wanted to get cut.

So between you and me," I tell Justine on the phone that night, "we're either bitchy or stupid." "Oh God," she moans. "Everyone thinks I'm an idiot." "Thanks!

When I was a child I wanted to be Pope. My greatest disappointment is missing out on that. I also wanted to be a tap dancer but I never fulfilled that ambition either.

I try to write down every song that comes to me, even though I know that every song that comes to me isnt a song that I need to sing.