Right before I'm about to talk at length about something I like I say, Get me started.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

She raised one leg and gave me all her weight as I dipped her. She either trusted me or wanted to fall.

Lack of power and opportunity passes off too often for virtue.

Don’t live a normal life by default, push the boundaries of your potential.

Bolivian women sewed their lips shut for days. They threaded needles through their skin to stop their speech, to show what good speaking had done them.

A half-truth is a whole lie.

It may be true that the law cannot change the heart but it can restrain the heartless.

The road is a long one from the projection of a thing to its accomplishment.

But I don't regret anything that I've gone through, because it makes me who I am.

It was another day to go to work, and try to play and play well.

I'm not really volunteering for no family films. I really like the sweet spot of being able to be edgy and controversial.