Right now I'm listening to a lot of Top 40 music, because THAT'S MY JOB.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.

In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.

If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.

At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad... it's meant to be a tribute.

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.

He sauntered across the kitchen, six feet of male hotness and charm, heading in her direction like a drone missile locked on a target.

Blue is true Yellow's jealous Green's forsaken Red's brazen White is love And black is death.

Do not remove a fly from your friend's forehead with a hatchet.

Alas! how light a cause may move dissention between hearts that love!

During my time in the camps, I had got to know the enemies of the human race quite well: they respect the big fist and nothing else; the harder you slug them, the safer you will be.

I don't want to do the type of writing where I recite biography, parentage and education. I want to rise up from the words on the page and do something, hurt someone.

Intuition works best when you remember that “tuition” is part of it. You need to have paid ahead of time (ie done your prep work) so as to prepare the ground for intuition.

The referee said it was not acceptable, but the Press considered they could not refuse to publish a book by a professor of the university.

The overall concept comes first and then that informs the product, the shoot and how we communicate it. Everything comes back to the concept. It all gets thought about at the same time.

Never be afraid to make a fool of yourself. The furthest out you can go is the best place to be.