Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Zoology, eh? That's a big word, isn't it." "No, actually it isn't," said Tiffany. "Patronizing is a big word. Zoology is really quite short.

I placed a jar in Tennessee and round it was upon a hill.

The photographer does the world a great disservice when he leaves his camera at home.

We're in the age of the series, trilogy, boxed sets.

Ever since I was little I really loved boyish clothes - I had a real obsession with strict clothes, like uniforms. They really got me going.

Then came the war, old sport. It was a great relief, and I tried very hard to die, but I seemed to bear an enchanted life.

One must be a sea, to receive a polluted stream without becoming impure.

It would be great to have a little getaway place somewhere hot, maybe down in Mexico, since I love it there. But now that I've banned myself from the sun, I don't know how that will work.

When I get too worked up about things I have always escaped into catatonia.

Indeed, these errors and my prompt confessions have made me surer, if possible, of my insight into the implications of truth and ahimsa.

As to religion, I hold it to be the indispensable duty of all government to protect all conscientious professors thereof, and I know of no other business which government hath to do therewith.