Rock & roll is not so much a question of electric guitars as it is striped pants.

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle.

If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?

The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!

When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's.

I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.

Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive

If you want to split a bottle with a friend, then Sammy Hagar is your guy. If you want to split your friend with a bottle than give me a call.

If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will melt all the rest of your records.

The only reason you should ever look down on someone, is to help them up.

You don't need magic to be invisible in a town like this. Being poor works just the same.

Not everybody is comfortable with the idea that politics is a guilty addiction. But it is.

I myself have never been enchanted by the dream of the white wedding, and, heaven help us, the expectation that this exquisitely catered event should be 'the happiest moment' of one's life.

The fog comes on little cat feet.

I hated seeing myself on screen. I was full of complexes. I hated my face for a very, very long time.

After we made love he took a piece of chalk and made an outline of my body.

It's hard to know where your thoughts come from, especially when you have a thirst for material because you need it professionally.

One of the benefits of a properly functioning democracy is minority rights and majority rule.

The leading members of ISIS were either tortured in US military prisons or in the prisons of the Shi'a government which the Americans put in place.