Romney, Gingrich, Santorum spent their week lecturing America about the morality of birth control. You know, you guys don't need birth control, you are birth control.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

Refuse to be content with the knowledge of God. Insist on experiencing His presence.

Richard felt about as conspicuous as a foreskin at a Jewish nudist camp.

I can't imagine it's easy to like someone, hate them, and then lose them before any of those feelings are resolved.

Never underestimate your own ignorance.

The US government is not going to be able to cover this up by jailing or murdering me. Truth is coming, and it cannot be stopped.

You must do your damdest and win.

I like getting toilet paper thrown at me.

Any astrophysicist does not feel small looking up at the universe; we feel large.

He felt all at once like an ineffectual moth, fluttering at the windowpane of reality, dimly seeing it from outside.

I become more seasoned, it's less interesting to try and compete in the pop market.