Roy Blount's stuff makes me laugh so hard, sometimes I have to go sit in a room and shut the door

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

Let go of the people who dull your shine, poison your spirit, and bring you drama. Cancel your subscription to their issues.

A piercing satire, a poignant family drama and an investigation of the competing claims of honesty, loyalty, ambition and love.

Those who offend us are generally punished for the offence they give; but we so frequently miss the satisfaction of knowing that we are avenged !.

It's never that hard for me to imagine what it must feel like to be someone else, whether it's an American teenage girl or a Japanese octogenarian man

we all suffer in our different ways from being prisoners of birth.

Most dramatically, and perhaps least noticed, is the violence inside Saudi Arabia itself.

If that's there, I believe that technology will probably step up to their part of it.

Words are the legs of the mind; they bear it about, carry It from point to point, bed it down at night, and keep it off the ground and out of the marsh and mists.

We pay far too much attention to externals.

I will never be as busy as I was in high school and college.