SATIRE, n. An obsolete kind of literary composition in which the vices and follies of the author's enemies were expounded with imperfect tenderness.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

You will only see change in your results if you apply change to your actions. Every day!

He who searches shall find the deity.

If a path in your life leaves you in a place where you feel lost and alone, may you follow your heart and souluntil you feel at home.

Eyes, so easily deceived, might judge more rightly with lids closed, allowing ears and heart to remain wide open."from "The Beauty of Ugh

Geordie stepped forward and took her hand. “I hope you’re not tired, because I intend to keep you on my arm until the music stops.

The NSA buys data from private companies, so the private companies are the source of all this stuff.

I have no talent for certainty.

When I say that the acting is sort of like a normal acting experience, I'm just talking about the interacting in actual scenes, like doing dialogue.

I had too much respect for the game to leave it behind or to make it my second or third sport in college

Daja doesn't exactly need to be tested on whether she's honorable or not.