SPOOKER, n. A writer whose imagination concerns itself with supernatural phenomena, especially in the doings of spooks.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

If the Beast gave me a library like he gave to Belle, I’d marry him too.

On a good day, my style is librarian chic. On a bad day, it's frumpy mother.

Catty is not cool. I can't think of anything less becoming than a man who talks about people behind their backs.

John Glenn's life will long be remembered for his time in space, his courage, and his service to all Americans.

It's appalling that there have to be movements organized to give human beings the right to be human beings in the eyes of other human beings.

I declare myself an Austrian and a European. A united Europe will be a peaceful Europe.

The person who builds a character makes foes.

Do what you're afraid to do.

A book has got to smell. You have to hold it in your hands and pray to it.

Fame often makes a writer vain, but seldom makes him proud.