Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Without causality in the world, there is no point in educating people, or making any moral or political appeal.

You are not walking slow enough, when taking a walk, if you do not come across as bored or depressed (to the average sane person).

Yea, slimy things did crawl with legsUpon the slimy sea.

Architecture, of all the arts, is the one which acts the most slowly, but the most surely, on the soul.

No one is born without vices, and he is the best man who is encumbered with the least.

Too often we seek justice for just us.

Stories are light. Light is precious in a world so dark.

You must fight others, but through peace, and through dialogue, and through education.

Why can't you write a great pop song when you are 85? Maybe you can.

Zidane is the master. Over the past 10 years, there's been no-one like him, he has been the best player in the world.