Sanford and Son is more than just a name. It's a condition, a dynasty, an empire. This here is the finest pile of junk of the world.

Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Music played a large role in the survival of the black people in America — that and a sense of humor that just couldn't be enslaved.

A girl's legs are her best friends...but even the best of friends must part.

This is the big one! You hear that, Elizabeth? I'm coming to join ya, honey!

What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.

If you can see the handwriting on the wall... you're on the toilet.

The definition of indecent – when it’s in long, and it’s in hard, and it’s in deep – it’s in decent.

I feel sorry for people who don't drink or do drugs. Because someday they're going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won't know why.

I carry a knife now because I read in a white magazine that all black people carry knives. So I rushed out and bought me one.

Sing Ho for the Life of a Bear

Sometimes the Bible in the hands of one man is worse than a whiskey bottle in the hands of another.

Lawyers and rogues are vermin not easily rooted out of a rich soil.

When I behold, upon the night's starr'd face, Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance, And think that I may never live to trace Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance.

We have to start from the fact that there are always alternatives to violence.

When humans truly discover the power of love, it will prove more important than the harnessing of fire.

I just don't think of myself as an actor much at all, so I don't lust after any particular roles.

Don't let anyone tell you that America's best days are behind her - that the American spirit has been vanquished. We've seen it triumph too often in our lives to stop believing in it now.

You can write about anything, and if you write well enough, even the reader with no intrinsic interest in the subject will become involved.