Sarah Palin had a big op-ed piece in the Wall Street Journal, and she said she's against death panels. And I thought, 'Really? She's the one who pulled the plug on the McCain campaign.'

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

Spirituality is to Religion, what Love is to Marriage. Spirituality is an emotional state of the mind, just like Love, while Religion on the other hand, is a social construct, quite like Marriage.

Wealth is violent and uneasy to acquire, don't blow yourself by rushing. You won't find, you will only get lost on your way to find and you won't find it, Reserve yourself and wealth will find you.

The problem that we, as living organisms, face - and not we only, humans, but any living organism faces - is the management of life.

We will always tend to fulfill our own expectation of ourselves.

I'm doing this for me.

I struggle with staying clean every day, and what really keeps me from doing something stupid is my daughter.

People gave names to things so they could tell stories about them, goddam fairy tales about children who got out alive.

Whatever device you use, Windows will be there. Windows will be everywhere on every device without compromise.

It's hard these days to have a conversation, at least it is for me, about [Truman]Capote without "Good Night, and Good Luck" coming up in the same conversation.

And fearless minds climb soonest unto crowns.