Satan probably wouldn't have talked so big if God had been his wife.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Respond to your inner instincts with enthusiasm.

A man of character finds a special attractiveness in difficulty, since it is only by coming to grips with difficulty that he can realize his potentialities.

It's him, " I said. "Typhon."I was seriously hoping Chiron would say something good, like 'No, that's our huge friend Leroy! He's going to help us!

Keep in mind that there are computers, that do touch things up. Like when I got a hold of the poster for 'Gold Diggers, ' I said: 'Hey, wait a minute! Those aren't my teeth!'

The tide of history only advances when people make themselves fully visible.

Drugs and drinking affect every family I know, country and city, middle-class and poor.

The owl, that bird of onomatopoetic name, is a repetitious question wrapped in feathery insulation especially for Winter delivery.

Curiosity has no important place in my work, only conformity.

Walking around an early spring garden- going nowhere.

He was soon borne away by the waves and lost in darkness and distance.