Scientists believe that the universe is made of hydrogen because they claim it's the most plentiful ingredient. I claim that the most plentiful ingredient is stupidity.

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons and 85% morons.

There are only two things to remember. Number one...Don't Stop, and number two...Keep Going!

The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life.

Power will be maintained by the groovy guy or gal who gets the most media coverage for his sleaze. Naturally, his friends in various businesses will do okay, too.

Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons.

Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.

Republican is fine, if your a millionaire. Democrats is fair, if all you own is what you wear. Neither of them's really right, cause neither of them care.

It gets harder the more you know. Because the more you find out the uglier everything seems.

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.

What can you say about a society that says God is dead and Elvis is alive?

The nation is marching along a permanently high plateau of prosperity

I like to experiment a lot and invent things.

When I broke in, in 1957, it was wide open. Now you're up against strong competition.

Most women get pregnant and even though it's a challenge physically and uncomfortable, they generally wanted to be pregnant.

The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.

But all ladies think they weigh too much.

Technology is one of the key drivers of female economic empowerment, but the fields that women choose to participate in are still decidedly gendered.