Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it's easy - you simply look under the kilt, and if it's a quarter-pounder, you know it's a McDonald's.

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag; even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!

So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.

I think age is terribly overrated. You're okay as long as you don't grow up. By all means grow old, but don't mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.

Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.

He was very religious he believed that he had a secret pact with God which exempted him from doing good in exchange for prayers and piety.

Man’s inner content is the worth of his life

We must live with our hearts in our hands - like Mary.We must hold the blood-red heart and no be disappointedwhen others look away.

Sometimes being away, on location, I feel like I'm away for much of my own life. I want to be better at staying connected.

I believe that constant effort, tireless effort, pursuing clear goals with sincere effort is the only way

What a revolting contrast exists in England between the slavery of women and the intellectual superiority of women writers.

The reason why I spend so much money for my journals is to press me to find something valuable to put in them.

Christ so loves his people that he sings with joy over them.

When things are too easy I lose interest in them so I find ways to complicate them to get myself interested.

It doesn't matter who's in the box. You go after them and get them out the best way you can.