Security here in New York City is still very tight. Hookers in Times Square now are demanding two forms of fake ID.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

Cinema is the ultimate pervert art. It doesn't give you what you desire - it tells you how to desire.

Stories are the single most powerful weapon in a leader’s arsenal

Dissatisfaction with status quo is the psychology behind creative disruptions.

The mind is its own place and in itself can make a heaven of hell a hell of heaven.

Be not imitator freshly act thy part Through this world be thou an independent ranger Better is the faith that springeth from thy heart Than a better faith belonging to a stranger.

Mozart began his works in childhood and a childlike quality lurked in his compositions until it dawned on him that the Requiem he was writing for s a stranger was his own.

If I'm crisp and economical in my delivery, have smooth transitions, movement and animation, and flights of fancy, that would get me an A.

I didn't come from a household where my mother dragged me outside and said, "You'd better fight." My mother wouldn't let me fight. I was not an aggressive kid.

Let us seek in particular to communicate the deepest joy, that of knowing God in Christ.

Everything happens for the purpose of what you decide to do about it.